By the time you read this (assuming anyone is reading it), I’ll be home, but right now, I’m in Richmond, Virginia, where I just spent too much money on four Flying Squirrels T-shirts.
This, sadly, is the kind of thing I do every time I travel on business, no matter how many times I tell myself not to.
In the beginning, the deal was I’d bring the kids a little something the first time I visited a place. The second trip, no present, but I never really stuck to that, because I’m an idiot.
So, Thing 1, the oldest, usually gets a T-shirt, and Thing 2, who’s too young to know what things cost, used to get a single Hot Wheel. (Hot Wheels are about $1 each.)
It’s hard to find Hot Wheels at airport gift shops, though, so I’d swing by Target a few days before I left and pick one up.
Thing 2′s single Hot Wheel, though, eventually became a 5-pack of Matchbox cars (which is only about $5), but then he started asking for Matchbox playsets, and then bigger Matchbox playsets, and because I don’t travel that often, I thought, what the heck. He’s a good kid.
Then, Thing 2 discovered Batman, so then he wanted those Fisher-Price Imaginext action figures and accessories, and I thought, what the heck. He’s a good kid.
So, before I left for this trip, I stopped at Target to pick up the Joker’s hideout — which I justified by telling myself it costs about the same as a T-shirt. I left it in the trunk of the car.
Now, back to those Flying Squirrels.
The Flying Squirrels are Richmond’s brand-new minor league baseball team. They’re the Double-A affiliate of the San Francisco Giants, and Richmond is nuts about them.
I’m from Nashville, Tennessee, and I thought Nashville liked the Sounds, but that’s a grade-school crush compared to the steamy love affair going on here.
They’re selling Flying Squirrels T-shirts at the airport and Flying Squirrels pennants in the lobby of the hotel. Everyone I’ve talked to here loves the team, and when I mentioned that I wanted to get a Squirrels T-shirt for Thing 1, the folks I was visiting said I just had to stop at the souvenir shop at the ballpark, because it was right up the street, so, that’s where we went.
I picked out a T-shirt for Thing 1 and, because I love minor league baseball, I thought I’d get a T-shirt for me, too, so that’s 2 T-shirts at $20 a pop.
I realized I hadn’t gotten my wife anything on this trip, so I got her a T-shirt, too.
But then I thought Thing 2 might feel bad we had Flying Squirrels T-shirts and he didn’t, so I got him one, too.
My thinking — which, in my defense, was muddled by the fact I got up this morning at 4:30 Nashville time — was that if everyone got a T-shirt, then we’d have parity, and no one would whine, which, let’s face it, is the goal of every parent with young kids.
Only, I’d bad-parented myself into the exact opposite of parity because I’d forgotten about the Joker’s hideout waiting in the trunk of the car back in Nashville (which I shouldn’t have gotten in the first place).
So, Thing 2 has 2 presents, and Thing 1 has 1.
I know what you’re thinking. Save the Joker’s hideout for Christmas or take it back to Target, but Thing 2 was very explicit before I left that he wanted it, and when I called home tonight, he asked what I was bringing him.
“I can’t tell you,” I said, hoping he’d forgotten about the Joker’s hideout.
“OK,” he said. “I don’t care what you bring me, but I really hope it’s the Joker’s hideout.” It sounded vageuly like a threat.
So, I’m going to put the T-shirt away and give it to him later — much later.
Hopefully, he won’t notice that he’s the only one without one.
And when I travel again, no one gets a present, no matter how much I miss them.
Funny post Todd. I like the sound of the Richmond enthusiasm for the Squirrels and as much as you lament your parenting, I promise you are not alone.
Tammy, Richmond had a minor league team for years but lost it, so I think people are really grateful to have a team again. It’s good to know I’m not alone in this whole present business!
I gotta get me one of those shirts, they look soo sweet
Folks in Richmond sure like ‘em!
Ah, the pressures of fatherhood:)
You’re darned if you do, and you’re darned if you don’t, but in a good way.
I’m going to have to talk to Roger. He never brings us back anything when he travels!
Ha! Tell him to bring you an iPad to make for all those times he didn’t bring you anything.
Awesome. This is such a familiar scenario, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
1) With two boys, I know the appeal of the Joker’s Hideout. Who knew that thing could ever possibly be a big deal to anyone? But it IS. It’s like my son’s obsession with Robin. How does that happen?
2) Kudos to you for finding gifts that actually have something to do with the town you visited. You should get extra points for that, at least. When I visited Philly a few weeks ago, I came home with two Zhu Zhu pets for the boys, and chocolate for my husband. Totally irrelevant gifts. And you know what? Nobody cared and everyone was happy. But I, like you, could have stopped by Target for either of those things.
I don’t know how Thing 2 got into Batman. We don’t let him watch the newer, scarier Batman cartoons, but he’s into Super Friends, and it turns out that the 1960′s Batman movie is available for streaming on Netflix, so he’s been watching that EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Oh my. I love the Flying Squirrels. I don’t even care that it’s a real team. The intensity of the face of that squirrel is delicious. I want a T-shirt!
Sometimes Thing 1 likes the T-shirts, sometimes she doesn’t (she prefers snowglobes, which aren’t always practical when you’re flying), but she wore her Flying Squirrels T-shirt all weekend. She put it on when she got home from school on Friaday, wore it all day Saturday and wore it until we went swimming on Sunday.
Here’s the link to the team store (called the Squirrels Nest): http://bit.ly/6LGiw4
I read your blog. Very interesting and true! I have grown up and currently live in Richmond. We used to have the ‘Richmond Braves’, Atlanta’s farm team. The City Government pretty much ran them out of here, so we continued to complain for a new team. San Francisco stated they would put a team here and Richmond got to pick the mascot. It got voted on between 3 different animals, I can’t remember which ones. But we settled on the Flying Squirrels and I personally love it. There was a guy here in the city the bought the domain names for any possibility of flyingsquirrels.com and about 20 other variations, and the team stroked him a MASSIVE check for the website ownership rights. Pretty funny. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed your stay and check out the game next time you are in town!
Thanks, Chris! The Squirrels are never playing when I’m there, but I’m under orders to buy fresh T-shirts every trip. (I think it’s the drawing of the mascot. That’s one tough-looking flying squirrel.)