Take the quiz: Should you get a mohawk?


Artist's rendering

I don’t know if it’s a Southern thing or a redneck thing or whether it’s a trend that’s coming or going, but this summer, I’ve seen a lot of guys with mohawks (see illustration).

I’ve seen mohawks mostly on kids and teenagers, but last night, at a Nashville Sounds game, I saw one on a middle-aged guys.

Sometimes, the mohawk works. Usually, it doesn’t.

So, as a public service, I’ve put together a little quiz to help you or someone you love decide whether to get a mohawk. Tally the points and check the results at the bottom of the quiz.

1. You are a Mohawk? (+10 points)

2. You play a Mohawk in a movie, TV program, outdoor musical or living history museum? (+5 points)

3. You are in a punk rock band. (+1 point)

4. You are a suburban teenager. (-1 point)

5a. You want a mohawk because everyone else on your sports team has a mohawk. (-1 point)

5b. If yes, it’s football or another sport where your entire head will be covered by a helmet. (-5 points)

6a. You are trying to express your individuality. (-10 points)

6b. If yes, you still live with your parents. (-20 points)

7.  You are trying shake the bourgeoisie out of its smug sense of complacency and/or piss off your parents or “the man.” (-30 points)

Answer key

  • 1 point or more: Sure, get a mohawk.
  • 0 or negative points: No.
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17 thoughts on “Take the quiz: Should you get a mohawk?

    • Well, really, the quiz of for people who are having trouble deciding. Of course, if you’re ever tempted, you could gel that curly mane into a faux-hawk, just to see what the reaction would be. In fact, you should do that. C’mon, you know you want to.

  1. Well, he’s a suburban teenager, but my son has been rocking this ridiculous thing for about a year now. He lets it go wild and wooly for long periods, but when something interesting is coming up, he gets it shaved back down.

    Evidence: http://esoileau.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/class-of-2024/
    (His photo’s at the end of the post.)

    He’s in a band, though; just because it’s a high-school band and not a punk-rock band shouldn’t count against him.

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