Artist's rendering
I don’t know if it’s a Southern thing or a redneck thing or whether it’s a trend that’s coming or going, but this summer, I’ve seen a lot of guys with mohawks (see illustration).
I’ve seen mohawks mostly on kids and teenagers, but last night, at a Nashville Sounds game, I saw one on a middle-aged guys.
Sometimes, the mohawk works. Usually, it doesn’t.
So, as a public service, I’ve put together a little quiz to help you or someone you love decide whether to get a mohawk. Tally the points and check the results at the bottom of the quiz.
1. You are a Mohawk? (+10 points)
2. You play a Mohawk in a movie, TV program, outdoor musical or living history museum? (+5 points)
3. You are in a punk rock band. (+1 point)
4. You are a suburban teenager. (-1 point)
5a. You want a mohawk because everyone else on your sports team has a mohawk. (-1 point)
5b. If yes, it’s football or another sport where your entire head will be covered by a helmet. (-5 points)
6a. You are trying to express your individuality. (-10 points)
6b. If yes, you still live with your parents. (-20 points)
7. You are trying shake the bourgeoisie out of its smug sense of complacency and/or piss off your parents or “the man.” (-30 points)
Answer key
- 1 point or more: Sure, get a mohawk.
- 0 or negative points: No.
I think a lot of people would be kind of upset if I did that to my curly mane! And I don’t think I’d look very good …
Well, really, the quiz of for people who are having trouble deciding. Of course, if you’re ever tempted, you could gel that curly mane into a faux-hawk, just to see what the reaction would be. In fact, you should do that. C’mon, you know you want to.
Always nice to have confirmation that I shouldn’t have a certain hair style.
I love that 6b is negative 20.
If I can prevent just 1 person from getting a bad haircut, then I’ll have done my job.
Well, he’s a suburban teenager, but my son has been rocking this ridiculous thing for about a year now. He lets it go wild and wooly for long periods, but when something interesting is coming up, he gets it shaved back down.
Evidence: http://esoileau.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/class-of-2024/
(His photo’s at the end of the post.)
He’s in a band, though; just because it’s a high-school band and not a punk-rock band shouldn’t count against him.
Well, I guess a band’s a band.
Mohawks and Mullets are in the same basic category — odd. Just sayin’.
Do you remember rat tails? What was that about?
Well done sir. Can we work together on a quiz for neck tattoos?
I could write that one in my sleep. Question 1a: Do you want a job someday? (-5 points) Question 1b: One that doesn’t involve heavy lifting? (-20 points)
To be honest, if I still had the follicle capability for a mohawk, I’d be all over it. I have the permanent anti-mohawk going on at this point in life. Funny stuff, Todd.
Reminds me of that old Bill Cosby routine where his son wants a reverse mohawk.
P.S. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed today, Chase!
Love the artist rendering!
I was inspired by whoever did the artist’s renderings of the Casey Anthony trial.
8. Your mowhawk would only cover the back 50% of your head (-100)
8) you’re a UFC legend and no one has ever seen you not sporting a Mohawk (5p)
Funny Todd and scary that I might actually need this type of justification one day.