I don’t know if it’s a Southern thing or a redneck thing or whether it’s a trend that’s coming or going, but this summer, I’ve seen a lot of guys with mohawks (see illustration).
I’ve seen mohawks mostly on kids and teenagers, but last night, at a Nashville Sounds game, I saw one on a middle-aged guys.
Sometimes, the mohawk works. Usually, it doesn’t.
So, as a public service, I’ve put together a little quiz to help you or someone you love decide whether to get a mohawk. Tally the points and check the results at the bottom of the quiz.
1. You are a Mohawk? (+10 points)
2. You play a Mohawk in a movie, TV program, outdoor musical or living history museum? (+5 points)
3. You are in a punk rock band. (+1 point)
4. You are a suburban teenager. (-1 point)
5a. You want a mohawk because everyone else on your sports team has a mohawk. (-1 point)
5b. If yes, it’s football or another sport where your entire head will be covered by a helmet. (-5 points)
6a. You are trying to express your individuality. (-10 points)
6b. If yes, you still live with your parents. (-20 points)
7. You are trying shake the bourgeoisie out of its smug sense of complacency and/or piss off your parents or “the man.” (-30 points)
- 1 point or more: Sure, get a mohawk.
- 0 or negative points: No.