Despite what you might have guessed, I actually put a little thought into my blog.
For every post I post, there’s usually one or two that didn’t work out. Sometimes posts fail because the idea wasn’t strong enough. Sometimes, it’s because I couldn’t think of anything original to say. Sometimes, it’s because the idea works better as a 140-character tweet than as a 400-word composition. Sometimes, it’s just a bad idea.
So today, on the 1st day of fall, I’m doing a little house cleaning:
Image via Wikipedia
Fortune cookies: Sometimes, I wonder whether the people who write fortune cookies are writing with the “in bed” game in mind. This is when you read your fortune aloud and tack “in bed” at the end of it.
For example, I got one a while back that said, “Despite appearances, his intentions are honorable.”
I mean, a) that’s not even a fortune, and 2) you wouldn’t write something about a man’s honorable intentions unless you knew the reader was going to take “in bed” onto it.
I tell you, those fortune-cookie people are playing us like a cheap violin.
The last great R.E.M. album
R.E.M.: I listened to a lot of R.E.M. in the ’80s and ’90s. I liked the band when Michael Stipe mumbled the lyrics, and I liked the band after he started enunciating, but, seriously, I thought they broke up 10 years ago.
“Nevermind”: Saturday is the 20th anniversary of Nirvana’s “Nevermind” CD. It was released on Sept. 21, 1991. Some perspective: A kid born the year “Nevermind” came out would be a college sophomore today. “Nevermind” came out the same year as America Online … for DOS. “Nirvana” came out the same year Britney Spears was on “Star Search” and Jennifer Lopez became a Fly Girl on “In Living Color.” “Nevermind” came out 3 years before the first PlayStation and 10 years before Wikipedia. And it’s still great.
Llama: Guy in front of Best Buy the other day had a llama wearing a hat. It wasn’t a petting zoo. He was just hanging out. I was going to take a picture, but I decided that would only encourage him.
Sting: I saw a story in the paper (OK, it was online) about how Sting is writing songs for a new musical about a man who grew up around the shipyards of Newcastle, and I realized something: Sting will never go away. This makes me sad.
British groceries: There’s a British-food section in the international food aisle at our Publix grocery stores. Between the Chinese and Mexican-food sections are several shelves with things like McVittie’s digestive biscuits and cans of Heinz treacle.
When we lived in Orlando, there were a couple of British supermarkets, because Orlando had a decent number of British ex-pats, but I live smack in the middle of Tennessee now, right outside Nashville, birthplace of country music and home of the Grand Ole Opry.
People in Nashville are from places like Alabama and Kentucky and, ever since Nissan moved its North American headquarters from suburban Los Angeles to suburban Nashville, places like California and Japan. If you meet someone from Manchester, chances are they’re from Manchester, Tennessee (home of the Bonnaroo music festival).
I looked up the 2010 Census. Metro Nashville has a population of 1.6 million. Of those, 118,000 were born outside the U.S. Of those, only about 10,000 are from Europe. I couldn’t find statistics for how many are from Great Brittain, but it’s fewer than 10,000.
You wouldn’t think there’d be much demand for digestive biscuits in the town that invented the Goo Goo Cluster, but … oh, wait. It’s all starting to make sense.
Definitely with you on Nirvana. Great album.
I don’t know about you, but I feel stupid and contagious.
Sting will never end. If there were a nuclear attack, the cockroaches would be forced to listen to him singing live at a concert in aid of toxic cockroaches.
I think I’d like him better if he had more of a sense of humor about himself. He always seems so earnest. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d do any work around the house. I don’t think he’d ever go, “I think I’ll install that new ceiling fan myself.” He seems like the kind of guy who doesn’t have any hobbies, other than trying to save the world through his awesomeness.
And don’t forget having undending sex. That probably takes some time out of his day.
LOL!!
This fall cleaning is a great idea. Often when I go back into my seedling posts, I can’t remember where I was going with them.
Re: Sting…
Just yesterday Someone I Wouldn’t Mind Spending Time With enthusiastically said, “Hey! I heard Sting is playing (a certain venue I’ve never been to)!”
This was my chance to spend time with Someone at a music venue I would like to go to. I tried to summon enthusiasm. . .
Someone (in a confused voice): “Do you like Sting?”
Me (desperately wanting to lie, just this once): “. . .”
Someone: “Well, I’m not sure when it is so who knows if I’ll even be in town.”
Me: “I think Jackson Browne tickets are still available. . . .”
I saw Sting a few years ago. Lyle Lovett opened. Lyle was great.
Lyle opened for Sting? How do you watch that and not pull a muscle from the transition?
Oh, I love Nevermind! I had no idea that it was 20 years old, mostly because I’m in deep denial about my own age. Also, love me some REM from back in the day, but I’m with you – I thought that was over a long time ago.
Soon after Nevermind came out, I heard a parody of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” on public radio. It was some woman playing piano and singing it like it was this soaring ballad. I cracked up. I thought it was brilliantly funny. Then, the announcer said, in the hushed tones of public radio announcers everywhere, that it was Tori Amos, and I realized it wasn’t a parody. It was just Tori Amos.
Oh, that Nirvana thing makes me feel SO OLD! The music I loved in high school shouldn’t be 20 years old, because seriously, I’m still IN high school, aren’t I? I thought I was still 16 … (I wasn’t 16 yet in 1991, but we were still listening to Nirvana and Pearl Jam and all that other stuff when I was 16 not long after).
And REM? Yeah. Not my thing. Ever. And I thought they were long gone, too!
I discovered Nirvana by way of “Weird” Al’s parody of “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” I thought, You know, that’s really not a bad song.
Oh Nevermind . . . I remember when it came out. I was in high school. Wait! I was in high schoool 20 years ago?? No, that just can’t be right. Jeesh. Now I feel old. Thanks a lot, NIRVANA!!
Trust me, misty. You’re young.
Actually this post of rejected post ideas makes a pretty post in it’s own right! I thought REM broke up a long time ago too.
Thanks, Thomas!
Great post… I remember 1991 very well. I can’t stand REM, so hopefully they go away soon. Love Nevermind, also… Metallica – Metallica (aka the black album) came out that year. I had 2 kids and was preggers with my 3rd! (I was 18)….
Ah.. the good ol’ days.
Thanks for the nostalgic post.
darlene
And how did our kids repay us for introducing them to Nirvana? By making us listen to Justin Beiber. Thanks, kids.
Nice walk down reject lane Todd. Can’t say I’ve given much thought to fortune cookies or goo goo clusters but heck, maybe on the strength of the combination you can come up with something? Also very concerned about Lyle opening for Sting.
Yeah. This was in the mid-90s. I thought Lyle was great. I’d seen him 2 or 3 times already, and then we got tickets to see Sting, and then found out that Lyle Lovett was opening, and I thought, “Wow. Maybe Lyle’s career’s not going as well as I thought it was.”