Despite what you might have guessed, I actually put a little thought into my blog.
For every post I post, there’s usually one or two that didn’t work out. Sometimes posts fail because the idea wasn’t strong enough. Sometimes, it’s because I couldn’t think of anything original to say. Sometimes, it’s because the idea works better as a 140-character tweet than as a 400-word composition. Sometimes, it’s just a bad idea.
So today, on the 1st day of fall, I’m doing a little house cleaning:
Fortune cookies: Sometimes, I wonder whether the people who write fortune cookies are writing with the “in bed” game in mind. This is when you read your fortune aloud and tack “in bed” at the end of it.
For example, I got one a while back that said, “Despite appearances, his intentions are honorable.”
I mean, a) that’s not even a fortune, and 2) you wouldn’t write something about a man’s honorable intentions unless you knew the reader was going to take “in bed” onto it.
I tell you, those fortune-cookie people are playing us like a cheap violin.
R.E.M.: I listened to a lot of R.E.M. in the ’80s and ’90s. I liked the band when Michael Stipe mumbled the lyrics, and I liked the band after he started enunciating, but, seriously, I thought they broke up 10 years ago.
“Nevermind”: Saturday is the 20th anniversary of Nirvana’s “Nevermind” CD. It was released on Sept. 21, 1991. Some perspective: A kid born the year “Nevermind” came out would be a college sophomore today. “Nevermind” came out the same year as America Online … for DOS. “Nirvana” came out the same year Britney Spears was on “Star Search” and Jennifer Lopez became a Fly Girl on “In Living Color.” “Nevermind” came out 3 years before the first PlayStation and 10 years before Wikipedia. And it’s still great.
Llama: Guy in front of Best Buy the other day had a llama wearing a hat. It wasn’t a petting zoo. He was just hanging out. I was going to take a picture, but I decided that would only encourage him.
Sting: I saw a story in the paper (OK, it was online) about how Sting is writing songs for a new musical about a man who grew up around the shipyards of Newcastle, and I realized something: Sting will never go away. This makes me sad.
British groceries: There’s a British-food section in the international food aisle at our Publix grocery stores. Between the Chinese and Mexican-food sections are several shelves with things like McVittie’s digestive biscuits and cans of Heinz treacle.
When we lived in Orlando, there were a couple of British supermarkets, because Orlando had a decent number of British ex-pats, but I live smack in the middle of Tennessee now, right outside Nashville, birthplace of country music and home of the Grand Ole Opry.
People in Nashville are from places like Alabama and Kentucky and, ever since Nissan moved its North American headquarters from suburban Los Angeles to suburban Nashville, places like California and Japan. If you meet someone from Manchester, chances are they’re from Manchester, Tennessee (home of the Bonnaroo music festival).
I looked up the 2010 Census. Metro Nashville has a population of 1.6 million. Of those, 118,000 were born outside the U.S. Of those, only about 10,000 are from Europe. I couldn’t find statistics for how many are from Great Brittain, but it’s fewer than 10,000.
You wouldn’t think there’d be much demand for digestive biscuits in the town that invented the Goo Goo Cluster, but … oh, wait. It’s all starting to make sense.