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Tonight is Halloween. As a public service, here’s a guide to the 5 kinds of trick-or-treaters you’ll see tonight and when it’s OK to turn off the porch light and stop giving out candy.
1. The demons you know.
These are your friends’ kids, or your kids’ friends. They’ll come early and probably get a special treat — a caramel popcorn ball or full-sized candy bars or a whole handful of miniature candy bars (if you didn’t think to buy something special ahead of time). You’ll stand on the porch and talk to the parents for a while and maybe take a picture.
2. The demons you kind of know.
These are little kids from around the neighborhood. If you don’t know names of the kids or their parents, you’ll probably at least recognize them. They’ll get 1 or 2 miniature candy bars, but if they’re especially nice or cute, they’ll get an extra Twix bar or something. You won’t take pictures. That would be weird.
3. The demons you don’t know.
Random older kids. Might be from the neighborhood, might not. 1 miniature candy bar each.
4. Repeat offenders.
Sure, it’s possible that 2 kids of about the same height might wear the same costume, but odds are pretty slim that there’d be 2 groups of trick-or-treaters consisting of a ninja, a pirate, Jango Fett and … maybe a hobo, maybe a scarecrow, it’s hard to tell.
5. Teenagers.
The final wave of trick-or-treaters is always a group of teenagers. Often, they’ll snicker like Beavis and Butt-head because they think they’re fooling you, but rule of thumb: If you’re old enough to shave any part of your body, you’re too old to trick-or-treat.
When the 1st wave of teenagers comes is when it’s safe to blow out the candle in the pumpkin and turn off the porch light, the international sign for “No more candy,” although, sometimes, teenagers have a hard time figuring this out. They’ll ring the bell anyway and snicker. You’ll need to decide whether it’s safe to ignore them or whether they’ll egg your car or blow up your pumpkin with an M-80 if you don’t meet their demands.
This is awesome so true when I was growing up. But today in Baltimore? No kids come around on Halloween. Malls host parties for kids but neighborhoods duck and cover.
That’s how it was when we lived in Orlando. We got almost no trick-or-treaters. Everyone when to the thing at the park, where local businesses set up booths and gave our candy and coupons. In the suburbs of Nashville, though, kids still go door-to-door, although a lot of families take their kids to trunk-or-treat events at church. On a busy night, we’ll get maybe 50 kids at our house.
Bah humbug! I don’t understand why people are so against teens trick-or-treating. They’re still kids and unless you are just plain out of candy, what’s the harm?
Send all your teens to my house. I’d be happy to drop some candy in their bags.
That’s a fair question. I guess my answer is that I’m just a curmudgeon. Someday, I hope to become the guy, when your Frisbee lands in my yard, you know you’ve lost your Frisbee.
I never thought about going to the same house twice. People really do that?
Oh, yeah.
That just about says it all!
Boo.
That’s an excellent rule of thumb. I’ll be at work and my pumpkin (sorry) and zombie sign will serve as false advertisement that I am offering treats. I fully expect to find retribution when I return.
Happy Halloween, Indiana. Hope you and the Things have a great time! (I think I said that already, but I’m saying it again. See?)
Thanks, Hipster. P.S. I wore the costume to a kid’s birthday-slash-Halloween party on Saturday. None of the kids had ever heard of Indiana Jones.
Had never heard of Indiana Jones!?!
That’s it. I’m officially old.
Kinda like “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” eh?
I don’t mind the teenagers if they actually dress up in a costume. Don’t show up at my door in your street clothes and expect me to dole out the candy. Quid pro quo, kids.
When I was a kid, trick-or-treat would end when we started getting teenagers who a) weren’t wearing costumes and b) didn’t say anything. They carried pillow cases, and they’d stand on the porch until you gave ‘em candy, and then they’d leave without saying thank you. Sometimes, even if you gave ‘em candy, they’d sneak back and blow up the pumpkin with an M-80. Good times, good times.
One year some teenagers decided to decorate our driveway trees with toilet paper. They started near the road, and worked towards our house, throwing the roll of toilet paper up over a branch on each tree as they went along. It was very dark out. Suddenly they got to the point where our motion sensor flood light comes on. Must have surprised them, because they dropped the roll of toilet paper and hightailed it back towards the road. I wish I could have seen there faces when that light came on!
See, the teenagers create a big mess, and someone else has clean it up. That’s funny, I don’t care who you are.
You nailed it. We are never home for the early trick or treaters so we usually just see the last group. We leave a bowl on our porch with candy in it. Amazingly enough, when we get home from Trick or Treating… there is usually candy still in the bowl. We have brought it inside and then answered the door for the teenagers, but now we find it just as easy to leave whatever is left in the bowl for the teenagers. The first group usually will come and clean it out, then the other groups just see the empty bowl and keep moving.
I don’t leave a bowl of candy on the porch because it would make me mad if 1 group of teenagers took everything and didn’t leave any for the little kids.
Interesting. We used to get all 5 kinds, now we just get kids from other neighborhoods dropped off in cruising cars, and the silent pillowcase-bearing teenagers. The kids in the cars slay me – the walk up to house, then back to the car, to be driven the few yards to the next house, then repeat.
Halloween is just not the same anymore. Tonight I looked up and down my street and ours was the only house with a light on. I handed out candy to 33 strangers, then turned out the light. Other years it would have been 100. I don’t get it. The stores are full of Halloween stuffy like it’s a religious holiday, but not for the kids. Must just be adults celebrating it.
That’s about how many we had. It’s not like it was.
never got any kids at my door this year maybe its because they all grew up lol or maybe its my german shepherd dog lol but i did give to a kid with a guy fawkes in a pram lol so thats my treat for this year maybe carol singers next if heidi my dog hasnt chased them too lol xxjen have a great week todd
You mean a baby in a Guy Fawkes mask? Creepy.
I think the ‘old enough to shave any part of your body’ guideline is as good as any rule of thumb I’ve heard. We need to establish some common sense guidelines to keep those teenagers away, not just on Halloween, but all year long. Yes, my wife and I have reached an age where all teenagers scare us.
that made me giggle todd no i mean it was a guy fawkes carried around in a kids pram lol not a baby xxjen