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You don’t need the same number of chocolate chip and oatmeal-raisin cookies, ever

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I was at a conference the other day, and mid-afternoon, they brought in a tray of cookies with a long row of chocolate chip cookies and about the same number of oatmeal-raisin cookies.

When the break was over, there weren’t any chocolate chip cookies, but there were still plenty of oatmeal-raisin cookies.

This is because no one likes oatmeal-raisin cookies. OK, some people like oatmeal-raisin cookies, but, given a choice, most people would pick something else.

Cookie trays don’t lie.

You’d think meeting planners would notice this, too, but, as a group, they’re oblivious to the fact chocolate chip cookies go a lot faster than the oatmeal-raisins.

Putting an equal number of chocolate chip and oatmeal-raisin cookies on a tray is like leaving the tails on shrimp when you’re putting them in a pasta dish. It’s something everyone does, but shouldn’t, because it’s stupid.

(No one’s going to grab a shrimp from the shrimp fra diavolo. They’re going to spear it with a fork, along with a twirl of noodles and sauce.)

I’m not sure how we can stop the madness, but I have an idea.

If you’re at a conference or church social or a PTA meeting, and someone brings in a cookie try with an equal number of chocolate chip and oatmeal-raisin cookies, say this:

“THAT’S JUST STUPID. YOU KNOW THOSE OATMEAL-RAISIN COOKIES ARE JUST GOING TO SIT THERE, RIGHT? DO YOU REALLY HAVE ENOUGH MONEY IN YOUR BUDGET TO BUY COOKIES NO ONE’S GOING TO EAT?”

Hopefully, eventually, people will get the message.

There’s a toy museum in our living room

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We have a toy museum on the living room floor, and in the bonus room, and in a corner of the kitchen.

Our collection includes probably 100 vintage Hot Wheels, vintage and contemporary Little People playsets, a couple bins of Thomas the Tank Engine trains and track pieces, a couple of lightsabers, some Tonka trucks, at least Trouble board games, several sets of Uno cards, God knows how many action figures and vehicles from McDonald’s Happy Meals and a Bat Cave with a Batmobile and a Batcopter and a Joker-Mobile.

As things tend to do, our toy collection got out of hand slowing, a piece or two at a time.

It turns out that our parents didn’t throw anything away. They saved everything, and when the grandchildren came, they unboxed the toys and sent them to us, which was really sweet, but Thing 2 (the 5-year-old) also has Thing 1’s old toys and a bunch of toys of his own toys, too.

I had this bright idea a while back: For every new (or used) toy that comes in, one goes out to the garage.

That lasted about a day, until Thing 2 decided he really, really, really needed that one fire truck. (Serves me right for getting see-through bins).

So, our house is a mess.

On the other hand, he’s growing up fast, like his sister did. So, the house is cluttered with old toys. I’m going to feel worse when he outgrows them.

I should remember to forget my camera more often

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Yesterday was Parents’ Day at our daughter’s YMCA day camp. Usually, she takes the camp bus, but I drove her, and we went canoeing.

It was a cool, sunny morning. The camp is next to a lake, and there were probably 100 other parents on the beach, noshing on bagels and pastries and waiting with their kids for a turn on the water.

While we stood barefoot in the sand, my 11-year-old pointed out girls she knew, and I thought: I forgot my camera.

It was a bad feeling. I thought, here we are, having this little adventure, and we won’t have any pictures.

Then, I remembered something I’d told my mom years ago, when Thing 1 was a baby and Mom wouldn’t stop taking pictures of her:

This isn’t a photo-op. Put down the camera and just enjoy yourself.

If our house was on fire, and I could save one thing, I’d save our pictures and videos. I forget how fast our kids are growing up until I see an old picture, or not even one that’s particularly old. Pictures from last summer or even Christmas remind me how much they’ve changed.

There aren’t any pictures to prove it, but we had a good time. We were on the water for maybe 5 minutes. Thing 1 insisted on steering. We made a wide circle and, miraculously, didn’t capsize or crash into any other parents. When it was over, I gave her a quick hug and kiss — nothing too embarrassing — and went to work.

Walking back to the car, I thought, I should remember to forget my camera more often.